Hold My Hand

I don’t know why, but I cannot stop thinking about her.  I mean, I know she has probably forgotten about me and dated guys but I just can’t get her off of my mind. Do I love her? No, but she is the first girl I have had serious feelings for her. That’s probably why when Stradlater came home that night after his date with her, I had mixed feelings of jealousy, annoyance, and curiosity. I couldn’t help myself after he made that crude comment about him and her in his truck…it really got to me. I wish I could see her and talk to her like we used to do when I lived right next door to her. How I’d love to be holding her hand right about now too, while playing a game of checkers and watching her keep all of her kings in the back row. I can’t quite figure out why I am so depressed more than ever all of a sudden,  one would think that after getting all of this freedom from escaping school, I would be living the life and seeing girls, but  it is just the opposite. Maybe I secretly am missing Jane more than I think I do, maybe I am trying to run away from my problems and avoiding the situation with Stradlater because I am sure he would take her out again, and of course rub it in my face one way or another. Whatever, I’m just trying to be happy and wishing I could be with here again, holding her hand because when I was holding her little hand, all you knew was, you were happy. You really were. 

Picture from: http://franklove.net/

Hold My Hand (click on this)